When you are pregnant, most women already think too much and try to do everything perfect. Add in high risk factors and you become a raving lunatic- like me. You are so worried about everything. You want to make sure you take all the right vitamins, eat healthy, exercise. You look jealously at those women where pregnancy seems so easy. Yet more than anything all you want is a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby at the end of it. As supportive as people try to be, the people around you- even your husband and family- can't really understand the things that go through your mind. Doctors treat you like a number and do not really listen to your concerns. And you know the doctors can't really do much except wait and watch you, but it still pisses you off. Put that all together and I have become a crazy lady.
Yesterday the stress of all of this hit me. I was trying to cook dinner, my 2 year old was playing in the fridge and wanted my complete attention and my hubby was sitting on the couch just watching tv and not helping. And then all of a sudden it just hit me and started crying. I am not a crying type of woman. However, the worry, stress and probably hormones just hit me. I was not a blubbering mess- just a few tears streaming down my cheek. And I felt better after it, especially when my daughter said "I kiss your boo boo mommy" and gave me a kiss. Amazing how this one line made me calm and put everything into perspective.
Monday, May 17, 2010
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Again, I have tears-Olivia wanted to comfort you. I wish I could say more to help you - I know you are a strong lady and it's ok to cry and gee I worried too. This is all normal-you have been through so much and you need some attention too and some help. Do you have a maid? Don't taboo if you don't, this could maybe relieve little stress and pressure during this pregancy? You can't do it all-I know you think you can and you want to-I know this much about you but maybe this help with the house could help you just alittle. Maybe it's time to put some of the WW ideas in play-(1) take one day at a time- (2) keep your eye planted on the final outcome with happiness and joy (3) if you have a bad day-OK tomorrow will be better (4) try to stay positive and don't borrow trouble-right now everything is wonderful-enjoy this!
ReplyDeleteAs for doctors-you are so right-they take so many patients and really don't stop to listen to our fears and concerns. However, there is nothing you can do to change this-but when I went into the office I think I would just tell him/her....listen I know how busy you are but I have so many concerns may we please visit for a few minutes? Write down everything you are worried about if they can't take the time-let them take the list and tell them when they have some time please call you to discuss-HEY, you are paying them a bunch of money (more than most do because of high risk)-they owe you all the time you need-you are important and deserve their undivide attention to your needs and the time to discuss them. TELL HIM/HER this.
I pray for you and the new baby everyday-of course for Olive and husband but mostly for your strength and courage to get through this with a happy healthy baby. And at the end of this you probably appreciate and cherish your children more than alot of folks who have it so easy.
Your doing great - be happy today everything today is good!